“It’s not that I have bad ideas, I don’t have any ideas! I don’t have anything to work with! I don’t have any direction or purpose or anything to say! I have nothing unique! I have nothing that anybody would want! I don’t have any skill with this blog stuff! I don’t know how to figure it out! I don’t have what I need to make this happen! I have nothing!!!”
Even as I was explaining all of these sad, difficult feelings to my husband, with tears spilling out of my eyes, I heard a small voice say, “I’m a God who specializes in creating things out of nothing.”
WHOA. Did I really just hear that?? It was small and quiet in the midst of my raging storm of emotion. It was gentle with me when I felt like I had been dealt with roughly. It was clear, even though everything else in my head was confusing. It was simple, but definitely unmistakable.
I cried a few more minutes as I let the Truth sink in. I don’t have to have anything–not a single thing!–for God to do something beautiful with me. He is the God of creation! He literally spoke the universe into being. Just with His voice. Matter didn’t exist before He told it to. (Does anyone else thing this is amazing??!) And He also created us. From the rib of a man made of dust, molded into His image. He put in us the same beautiful longing for relationship, the ability to think, create, love.
And when because of sin in the world I don’t have anything worthwhile to say, He can create it in me. He can create it even though there’s nothing there to work with. He doesn’t need anything to work with; except maybe a heart that is willing to listen to Him.
Friends…. wow. Just wow. I can’t believe it was so clear all of a sudden. It was so reassuring. It calmed my very heart and soul. When I don’t have anything (which is really all the time, more on that in the future) inside me, anything to give, anything to say, He’s got me. He holds me so tenderly when I just need to feel His Love, Presence, Power.
I have been on a journey back to Him. I don’t think He would have revealed Himself so clear and powerful if my heart wasn’t ready to hear from Him. So I take this as a sign that I’m on the right path in getting back to Him. I don’t know how this path will look (probably up and down and zig-zaggy and I’ll probably go in a few circles along the way), but I am so encouraged.
I hope I can encourage you, too. If you feel like you don’t have any smarts, any strength, any love, any compassion, any wisdom, any words to say, or anything at all to give back to the world, press into God. He cares so deeply for you. He sent His own Son to death so that you could have life. “He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him (Jesus) graciously give us all things?” (Romans 8:32) Did you catch that last part? He not only gives, but He gives graciously.
Whatever you’re finding yourself in need of today, know that “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above” (James 1:17), “And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work” (2 Corinthians 9:8).
He’ll give you what you need if you trust Him for it all.